No One Said This Would be Easy
“Maybe it’s not supposed to be easy for you. Maybe you’re one of the rare few who can handle tough times and still choose to be a loving person. Maybe it’s going how it’s going because you’re built for it. Don’t stress a thing. It’s going to work out because you’re not going to stop putting in the work.”
Yesterday, there was a large explosion at the Pixelle paper mill in Jay, Maine. Almost immediately, my phone was blasting with texts and phone calls. “Did you see this?” “There are 4 dead”, “no, no one died”, “they called for life flight and the plane", “mass casualties”, “no injuries,” “they called off life flight”, “is your family ok?” I watched a video of the explosion from a truck driver waiting in line, debris landing on his windshield. I kept saying to myself, “This is not survivable.” My heart was thumping with anxiety wondering whose funeral we would soon be attending. I was driving to the bank when the news came in, trying to keep everything afloat amid this coronavirus pandemic. I was literally pulling over every few minutes to check the news. Nothing. Drive some more. Nothing. Got to the bank, nothing. Then finally, I refreshed the page one last time while pulled over at a gas station…. “The Maine State Police confirmed there we no deaths or serious injuries.” A sudden wave of relief flooded my heart and I sat there in tears of happiness. I continued my journey home and a new anxiety took over. What the hell are we going to do now?
The paper industry had seen some very troubling years recently and we were finally feeling like there was light at the end of the tunnel. Re-firing of paper machines, significant investments, etc. You see, this isn’t just a crisis for the mill. Not only does the mill employ around 500, it directly supports loggers, truckers, sawmills, and foresters. Headlines typically will describe how it will affect the forest economy, but its more than the “economy”. That economy is thousands of human beings. Real ones. Real middle class humans just trying to keep some food on the table, a roof over their head, and earn an honest living. In a recent scroll of the ever negative Facebook, I have seen people post some extremely harsh words regarding those who are receiving unemployment benefits right now. They are angry that they have to continue working for their money and some people are getting something for nothing. To that, I say, I hope your place of employement never blows up and you sit in fear of how you’re going to keep food on your table. There are a lot of your friends and neighbors who are sitting there anxious about what this means for them. I can assure you, they’d rather be clocking into work today. That goes for those who are unemployed due to coronavirus, weather, or explosions.
This morning, in an attempt to gain some more knowledge and insight on the situation, I turned to the news. There is hardly a note of it. Hardly a mention of the potential impact of this devastating situation. My best guess as to why…. no one died. What more is there to say? Nothing left to talk about. If this had been fatal, they would be all over it. Let me tell you something about loggers and truckers and mill workers, etc, if they lose their business, their work, their livelihoods, many will feel like they might as well be dead. This IS their life. My heart goes out to those contractors standing in front of their 10 employees this morning, saying they don’t know what to do next. Might they have to let them go? Possibly. Might they have to skip some payments to the bank and destroy their pride in the mean time, likely. Might this be the straw that broke the camels back? I friggen hope not. I really hope I am over reacting.
To our logging family, we are a tough breed of resourceful human beings. I know you’re standing in the garage or on a landing this morning with your wheels just turning in your mind. We will find a way through this, we always do because we’re built for it. It wasn’t meant to be easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it.