Just a Contractor's Wife
It’s still a little weird to me when people ask me what I “do”. The internet is littered with advice on how to respond to this question. “Don’t just say “I own a logging company” or “I’m a secretary” You’re supposed to say something profound like “I help landowners maximize the potential of their forest land by focusing on their specific goals such as wildlife, recreation, or financial investment.” I can’t say something so staged it. It feels so forced and I’m certain I would stumble on my words. It’s a question often asked to break the ice at social or networking events. I struggle with this question HARD. When someone asks me this, my first thought is, “I’m a nurse!!” When Randy and I met, I was in college to be an elementary school teacher and I was working at a residential care facility caring for an incredibly sweet elderly population. I absolutely loved my job caring for the residents. I stayed up all night long working night shift and taking advantage of the down time of the shift to complete my homework assignments. I would answer calls for help in the night to assist people to the restroom and then at 5am I would go greet them and help them get dressed for the day. It was at this job that I realized my calling was not to be an elementary school teacher, but I was destined to be a nurse. I feel completely fulfilled when I am helping someone and decided to continue down this path. I went on to work at a local hospital as a CNA and worked part time over nights on weekends so they would pay for my college. (See, I’m a smart girl!)
For the record, I can drive a skidder….. I didn’t say I was good at it though! hahaha
Fast forward some years and Randy and I decided we wanted to be owners of part of the logging business that his father had owned for decades. I certainly never saw myself as a business woman because this drew up false images of selfishness and greed, not generosity and caring. Because of my lack of confidence and fulfillment, I still had the desire to continue working as a registered nurse. The demands of 3 children and owning a business has limited my availability to put in 13 hour days at the hospital so now saying “I’m a nurse” seems like only 1/8th of the truth. So here I am today and when someone asks me, “What do you do?” I don’t know what the heck to say because I am sort of a stay at home mom, per-diem nurse, Real Estate agent, and logging business owner! I have struggled with parting with the bedside nursing profession because it’s just as much of who I am as being a logger is to Randy. If I were describe what I do I would say, “I am a book keeper, secretary, parts chaser, editor in chief, marketing director, CFO, CEO, chef, taxi driver, butt wiper, teacher, house keeper, boo-boo fixer, and house hunter. At an event we attended the other day someone referred to me as a “contractors wife.” Initially this sort-of irritated me. This title sounded second rate, not as important, and submissive. I am more than just a “contractor’s wife.” It sounds so simplistic, right. It sounds like I wake up at 8am after my husband has been at work in the freezing cold since 4am. It sounds like I probably get up, drive to Starbucks on my husbands dollar, hit the gym in my Nike leggings and matching sneakers, watch a soap opera, and then pick up the kids at school. With those words initially stinging in my ear, my first thought to myself was, “Screw you I AM the contractor!” But then I realized, no I am not. I am a nurse. And his words of “a contractor’s wife” was just another way of saying, “She is a nurse.” When I looked at his words from that perspective, I felt proud to be a contractor’s wife because that means I am a nurse, which is what I was born to be.
The Merriam-Webster definitions of a nurse vary as greatly as my job description:
Nurse: a person who cares for the sick or infirm….. check
: one who looks after, fosters, or advises …. check
: to care for and wait on …. check
: to nourish at the breast …. check, check, check
: to manage with care or economy …. check
: to promote the development or progress of …. check
: to take charge of and watch over ….check
: to consume slowly or over a long period (as in my coffee or wine!) …. double check
: Rear or educate …. check
The more I think of it, the more I realize it’s all the same. At the hospital, being a nurse can be a sort of thankless job at times. Doctors are the leaders. They are the ones who get the praise, the awards, the recognition for saving lives, doing the surgery. The nurse does get thanked, don’t get me wrong… but she also gets blamed when things go wrong. She is the last line of defense and must always be screening for problems. The nurse is the supporting role but who is always there, taking care of all of the other things. Her job is so incredibly important for the outcomes of the patient. She must recognize symptoms before they become life threatening, she must assist in providing and ensuring nourishment, she offers a shoulder to cry on during times of extreme stress, she delivers relief from pain, medications to maintain life. If the nurse didn’t exist, the patient wouldn’t thrive, the doctors outcomes would not be satisfactory. As a contractor’s wife I do all of the same things. I know that. Randy knows that and more importantly, appreciates what I do. I don’t know what people think I “do” but we know exactly what I do. The next time I’m referred to as a contractor’s wife, I’ll wear the title proudly because regardless of what that means to them, I am damn proud of my job!
